What kind of weapon is a programming language?

Inspired from this post I tried to create something funny on my own. If your favorite programming language were a weapon, what weapon it would be?

Java

Java is a Rocket Launcher. It packs a deadly blow, blasting away any problem that gets in the way. You cannot wield this weapon without great strength. And if you are not careful enough it will blow you away when it recoils.

Perl

Perl is the Swiss Army Knife, the all purpose weapon of the MacGyver programmer. With this in his pocket, he is capable of building any complex tool, solving any problem, surviving any situation.

PHP

Murphy’s Law redefined: “When you have a PHP hammer in hand, every Web app looks like a nail.” It’s cheap, easy to use and it gets the job done!

Ruby

Invented by the Japanese, Ruby is the blade of honor of Samurai programmers. Followers of the code of pure object-orientation, there is no challenge big enough for these guys.

C

C is the Lightsaber, the classic weapon carried by Jedi programmers. It can cut through solid metal making the impossible to possible, and even deflect blaster fires to save your neck. If you fall to Dark Side, you can do damage with it.

JavaScript

JavaScript is a Sub Machine Gun. The unique weapon of the commando programmer, who is summoned to fight in the closed quarters of client-side development. His ultimate nemesis: Internet Explorer!